


Free Yourself

by FishNunRey (ZaylaBeth)



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), I started writing this before the TROS teaser came out so it's already deviating from that, Knights of Ren - Freeform, canonverse, idk if I'll finish this we'll see lol, imposter kylo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-10
Updated: 2019-09-17
Packaged: 2020-10-14 05:38:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20595599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZaylaBeth/pseuds/FishNunRey
Summary: Two years have passed since the Resistance managed to escape the First Order at the old base on Crait. The Resistance has been laying low and making secret efforts to assist smaller planets affected by General Hux's invasions. Surprisingly, however, the First Order has seemingly come to a standstill for the past eight months.  The Resistance is getting suspicious, so they are being cautiously optimistic as they plan a solid counterattack....





	1. Nothing To Do

Another day of nothing to do. Rey had already gotten up and completed her morning workout with the training droids. She stood absentmindedly in the shower as she let the water wash the dirt and sweat away. There was no point in wondering what the plan for the day was because...there was nothing to do. Each day since the First Order mysteriously halted their attacks brought the same feeling of confusion and caution to everyone in the Resistance. _Should_ they be worried that the enemy had fallen so silent? Or should they stop being so skeptical and just be grateful? Was it enough for the Resistance to stop being so secretive and come out of hiding for the public to see? Probably not. It was a frustrating situation.

Each day Rey would complete her personal training, eat meals with her friends, and consult with the other Resistance members on what to do next. Perhaps they'd check in on the small villages they'd already helped. Or they'd send in some spies to investigate the First Order--oh wait, that had already failed once. There was really not much they could get done in a day with everything so unusual.

As Rey finished drying off from the shower and pulled on her clothes for the day, she couldn't help but wonder what might be going on on the other side...

She glanced at the scar on her upper bicep that made her stomach turn. Before she could allow any emotion to creep in, she quickly grabbed the leather cuff to wrap around it, covering it immediately. It had been two years, but she still wasn't ready to think about that day again.

Rey met up with Rose in the hallway as they headed down to the cafeteria for lunch. She was impressed by Rose's continuously surprising efforts to walk without the help of prosthetics. Ever since that crash on Crait, she had broken her arm and leg. Her arm healed just fine--thankfully, considering her line of work--but she developed a limp that slowed her down a bit. Finn fought to get her an accessory to help with the limp, but Rose refused. Rey admired her perseverance.

As they went through the line to get their food, they met up with Finn and Poe. The four of them sat together at a table to eat their lunch. Rey was irritated to have to sit next to Poe as usual, but she couldn't argue against Finn and Rose wanting to be next to each other all the time.

"I wonder what Connix has planned today," Rose pondered. "You think we'll visit that little village in Ryloth again?"

Poe groaned loudly. "Ugh, I hope not. I'm tired of just waiting around like this. Those villages are probably sick of us visiting by now, we've gone like six times. When are we gonna do anything _big??_"

Rey gave him a side glance. "We're all getting impatient, Poe. But that's the way the Resistance wants to handle it until we decide what to do. We can't jump into anything blindly"

"And since when do we just sit around and wait for people to tell us what to do?" Poe threw his hands in the air. "If we don't make a move, no one will."

Finn raised a finger. "We can't do anything super reckless. Remember when you almost did that to Holdo? She knew what she was doing all along."

Poe sighed. "Well then at least let us get some intel on the First Order! I know sending you two in failed last time, but can't we find another way in? Like...I don't know, hack the system or something?"

"Their defenses are _way_ too high for that," Rose chimed in. "They'd catch us and track our location immediately."

A moment of silence and thought.

Suddenly Finn's eyes widened and he zeroed in on Rey. "Rey, why don't you use the Force? You used it to lift all those rocks on Crait...can you do anything else with it besides lifting and moving stuff?"

Rey almost choked on her food. Panicking, she shook her head quickly. "N-no. I mean, I tried once and it backfired." Her friends all looked at her, awaiting a further explanation. "B-besides, Leia probably already tried that, since you said she used the Force when the Raddus exploded. And Luke was her brother, after all. There's probably a reason she never said anything else about it before she died."

It had been just a little over a year since Leia passed away peacefully in her sleep. It seemed far too soon. It took a while for everyone to start feeling normal again.

After a moment of silence, Finn shrugged, trying to lessen the weight that had suddenly fallen upon the room. "Yeah, you may be right. I just wish there was a way to secretly communicate with the other side without being attacked, you know?"

Rey tried to hide the blush on her face, but found her eyes drawn toward the leather cuff on her upper arm.

* * *

As Rey went back to her room, she began to let her mind wander.

She knew there was a way to secretly communicate with the other side, and without being attacked. Or at least, she hoped she wouldn't be attacked. They weren't able to hurt each other that first time, but they could touch hands...

Rey shook her head quickly to rid herself of the memory. But...

It was almost as if another voice--but not his--spoke words into her mind. "Maybe it's worth a try," it whispered. "Just open up the connection again. Just for a moment."

Rey sighed. It's not like she had anything else to do today anyway, and her friends weren't expecting her. Now would be the perfect time.

She made her way to her bed and climbed into a meditating position, crossing her legs and closing her eyes. She inhaled slowly, then exhaled steadily. As she exhaled, she visualized a door before her, and a key in her hand. With her mind she twisted the key into the hole, unlocking the door. It was a bit difficult. Once the lock made a clicking sound, she reached to turn the doorknob...

"ALL PASSENGERS PLEASE REPORT TO THE BRIDGE IMMEDIATELY!" A voice blared over the speakers. Rey was jerked out of her meditative state, feeling disoriented and slightly irritated. She immediately rushed out of the room. Perhaps it wasn't time to open that door just yet.

* * *

Once everyone was gathered together, Connix stood on a platform to speak. "We have received a new message from the First Order. It doesn't seem like they've found us just yet, but this holo has been broadcast all over the galaxy. Some allies were able to get it to us privately." She nodded to an officer who began to playback the message.

Just then, Rey felt her heart skip a beat. On the holo was a tall man in black with a poorly-reassembled mask.

Kylo Ren.

Rey couldn't believe it. He had gone back to that mask? Really? Perhaps he really was as far gone as Luke had said those two years ago. She was foolish to think he could turn.

"Members of the Resistance," Kylo addressed them, "it has come to our attention that you are severely lacking in troops for your cause. Normally I would consider this an advantage for the First Order, but I find it to be a bit...unfair. While we're clearly the superior side in this war, we feel it would be more..._entertaining_ to change some things. Because we feel pity for your puny cause, I would like to offer you 500 of our stormtrooper soldiers. I'm sure the traitor FN-2187 would appreciate seeing his old comrades again. Simply give us your location and we will send the troops your way."

Everyone stood there, completely baffled.

"That has got to be the DUMBEST offer I've ever heard," Poe laughed, trying to keep his mouth from hanging open. "Does he think we're idiots?? Is he an idiot?? How did the First Order approve this? Clearly he's just saying this hoping we'll give them our location."

"Thanks for stating the obvious," Rey muttered.

"I don't know," Finn shrugged. "That Kylo is a pretty rage-y sorta guy. I mean, he wasted the First Order's entire ammo supply on trying to kill Luke on Crait. Just Luke, nothing else. He seems unstable enough to do this without thinking all the way through."

Connix raised a hand to calm the crowd as they started talking. "Obviously we are not going to respond to him. But it _does_ imply that Kylo Ren may be unstable enough that we could find a weak point without him realizing. We've put out feelers to try and figure out the source of this message and hopefully pinpoint Kylo Ren's location. We have assassins on standby when we're ready."

Then Rey felt her heart sink.

Before she was willing to admit why, she headed for Connix after the group was dismissed. "Could I take a look at that holo one more time?" She asked. Connix nodded and handed her a chip with the message, trusting her to use it wisely.

* * *

Rey went with Finn to the common area to watch the message again. "Why are we watching it again? It was a _really_ stupid message," Finn asked.

"I need to see something," Rey responded hastily as she plugged the chip into the display. "Somehow I just can't believe he could be so careless. Not that careless, at least. Although..." She remembered him saying he wanted everything around them to die so they could start over. Together.

They began to watch the clip again. As Finn scoffed at the absurdity, Rey sat in silence, trying to keep her expression blank.

Something was wrong.

That wasn't Kylo Ren.


	2. Here We Go Again

After returning the holo chip to Connix and parting ways with Finn for the evening so he could meet up with Rose, Rey locked herself in her room. She already told her friends that she was going to hang out alone for the evening and go to bed early, so they'd leave her be.

That holo was a sign. Whether it was from B--er, Kylo, she wasn't ready to say his real name again after what went down--or from the Force...it was time for her to reopen the connection.

So Rey got back into that meditative state from before. This time, with more confidence and purpose. She was still nervous, but this time she had questions to ask instead of sheer curiosity. Her only worry was that...maybe he'd closed off the connection too and she wouldn't be able to get through. Or maybe he was so mad at her for cutting him off that he would refuse to speak with her.

But she was ready to try.

She visualized the door again. This time, it was already unlocked. Breathing steadily, she tried to turn the doorknob. It opened incredibly easily, almost swinging the imaginary door forward out of her mental hand. She felt her body fall forward a bit as she caught herself on her bed and regained her balance.

She saw darkness. But...not emptiness. More like...gloom. Fog. Depression. It cleared up quickly to reveal a small, dark room. In this room across from her was a bed covered in a messy pile of blankets. She walked toward it quietly.

"What are you doing here?" A deep, mechanical voice said softly but startlingly behind her. She felt her heart rate skyrocket as she spun around. Before her was a tall figure in a dark, ill-fitting outfit wrapped in a cape. He wore a mask similar to the ones in that vision she had back when she first found her lightsaber.

"You--h-how can you see...?" Rey stuttered, confused that this wasn't the person she intended to connect with. She backed away until she stumbled back onto the bed, taking a seat. This was the most immersive experience she'd had with a Force connection so far.

Then it hit her.

This man wasn't moving toward her or threatening her in any way. He stood there plainly, almost pathetically, waiting for her to say something. His stance and stature were unmistakable.

"...Ben...?" Rey felt a chill down her spine as she said it. She hadn't said that name in two years.

"So you _do_ remember me. I was beginning to think you'd forgotten," the man sighed. He reached up to pull his mask off.

He revealed his face. His soft, sad, soul-crushed face. It was Ben.

Rey stood quietly and stared at him for a moment. When she realized her mouth was hanging slightly open, she blinked and shook her head. "If you're here, then who was--"

"One of my Knights," Ben explained. "He's standing in as my decoy while I work away from the base."

Rey's brow furrowed. "But...why? Didn't you want to be a leader?"

Ben's eyes looked glazed over. "...No."

This surprised Rey. "What about all that 'we can rule together and bring a new order to the galaxy' stuff?" She felt angry just thinking of it.

Ben sighed and stepped closer to her. "I want to have a say in what happens for once. Right now I'm leading a group I didn't even create. This isn't what I wanted. I want to be free of this."

"I'm not following..." Rey muttered.

Looking around as if to check if others were listening in, Ben took a seat beside Rey. His presence sent a chill down her spine and arms, but not one derived from fear. "I have a plan," he lowered his voice. "I'm going to take down the First Order from within."

"What??" Rey blurted. Ben covered her mouth with his gloved hand. Rey forgot they were using the Force connection.

"Shh! My Knights of Ren are standing in for me as I devise my plan. That's why 'Kylo Ren' has the mask back. So no one is suspicious. My Knights take all orders from me via the Force so there's no paper trail. But...they don't know that this is what I'm doing." 

Rey squinted. "What do they think you're doing then?"

"They believe I think I'm not presentable enough to be respected as a proper leader. They think I'm too emotionally distraught to make logical decisions, so I'm 'running things by them' before having them announce orders."

"Emotionally distraught?"

"Can you blame me after what happened with us? I trusted you."

Rey blushed and lowered her head in shame.

Ben continued. "This war has been going on too long. Too many people lost. I didn't even get to say goodbye to my..."

Rey forgot. Ben didn't get to say goodbye to Leia when she died. His own _mother_.

"This war needs to end. And that will only happen if we free ourselves from these..._organizations_. What are we even fighting for, anyway? Galaxy-wide dictatorship? What's the point in that?" Ben almost chuckled. Then he placed a hand on Rey's shoulder. "Rey, I truly believe you and I are the key to solving all of these problems. We're both equally powerful, we complete each other. You _have_ to know that."

Okay now _this_ was getting to be very personal. Rey didn't expect it to escalate this quickly--although, what _did_ she expect?

"I realized something during this time alone," Ben explained. "You refuse to leave the Resistance. I get that. They have your loyalty. But you need to be freed from that mindset. I want to free you, but I can only help you do it for yourself. Only then is when you'll finally join me in starting things over. But I know you won't do that, so they need to be destroyed."

"What?!" Rey began to stand.

"They're holding you back, Rey!" Ben raised his voice firmly. "You keep waiting for other people to decide things for you instead of you making choices for yourself! The only way you're going to take charge of yourself is if you destroy the things holding you back!"

"Here we go again," Rey rolled her eyes.

"I already know I need to destroy the First Order to find myself. But I won't be able to find myself fully without you. You're my other half, we _need_ each other. So if you won't destroy the Resistance, I will. If that's what it takes to nudge you in the right direction," Ben sighed.

Rey could feel her blood boiling. It was taking everything in her not to shut off the Force connection again.

"I'm going to destroy the First Order first. That way the Resistance lets down their defenses. Then they can be destroyed too. But I can't help you free yourself from your past if I don't free myself from mine first."

"You're insane," Rey spat.

"Am I though?" Ben shrugged.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly don't know what I'm doing lol. It's been a while since I've just sat down to write, and WOW it is NOT coming naturally right now. But it's a nice little activity to get my mind off things. Sorry if it's not very good, and I apologize in advance if this story doesn't really go anywhere haha. Thank you for reading ♥

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! This is a canonverse fic I started back when there was just speculation on TROS and no teaser or trailer yet. I still kinda like the idea so I'm just going with it lol! You can follow me on Twitter for updates too ♥ [[Twitter](http://twitter.com/laurellabeth)]


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